Closer.... closer.... !!!

It's Friday. Friday's are my official weigh in days where I weigh myself first thing in the morning and log it onto Calorieking.com.

I don't know if I've explained much about my methods for weight loss, so I'll go into it a little bit. Basically, it's everything that you're supposed to do - eat good food in moderation and move your body. What I needed in my life was a way to measure what's going in and how much I move so I could manage it throughout the day. I don't have to restrict my favorite things, which is key here. I just put a bit more thought into planning my day and have stopped eating things off the kids' plates.

Anyway, after I had Cruz I felt heavier than I ever had before - Although in retrospect my heaviest was actually before I got pregnant with Ryenne - but for some reason I also felt more motivated and empowered than ever before as well.

At the end of March I was about 229 pounds. In July I joined calorieking.com at 219 pounds. Since joining and logging everything, it's been a steady 1 - 2 pounds per week which has been fabulous! This morning I weighed in at 191.4 - so close to getting into the 180's! Setting these small goals for myself makes me feel like I'm always celebrating a victory. Also huge for me.... since saying, "I want to lose 50 pounds." seems like an impossible task.

I am feeling so healthy and so amazed. Sometimes when I see my face in the mirror I think, "Who is that?" - I haven't seen that face my entire adult life.

On the flip side, it's also a little bit scary. I have always been the "Big Girl" so I'm trying to figure out who I am now. As strange as that sounds, I keep trying to label myself but can't figure it out. Clothes are also another interesting issue. Basically everything that I had before doesn't fit. My mom bought me some new clothes and I have been picking something up here and there but mostly it's hard to find things that fit. And I'm not used to shopping for clothes, either. It feels like a foreign world and I am clueless. Most of the things in my closet that don't fit anymore I had bought in my early twenties - everything - shirts, jeans, shorts, ect. The only "new" things were maternity clothes and I have no need for those anymore! It's just a frustrating issue for me. I am not enjoying clothes shopping as much as I thought I would. Instead I feel guilty for buying anything because I don't know how long it will fit for and I feel like I'm just wasting money.

Anyway, now I'm rambling. I am both excited and scared at this body transformation. Keep cheering me on everyone!