Pumpkin Patch fiasco

I had images of grandeur taking the kids to the pumpkin patch and getting a great picture of them for Cruz's first Halloween event.

Yeah. This is what I got.

 Gorgeous, isn't it? 

Check out how Ry looks like she's going to rip Cruz's head off. Mmmm-hmmm... THIS was our trip to the pumpkin patch.

We started out loading the kids into the car. I realize that people may not understand how I get three kids into a Scion XB - so here's an illustration for you. As of late there have been a lot of fighting and hitting between the older two while I'm driving. I think they had just hit each other when I took this picture.

Cruz, however, was excited. 

So we're at the pumpkin patch and I am thanking my lucky stars that we didn't drive out to Sweet Berry Farms (an hour + drive) because the kids were absolutely rotten. 

Kai wouldn't stop throwing pumpkins and yelling "Ball!". Ryenne kept running from pumpkin to pumpkin and I realized that she was ripping the stems off them! I was mortified!

We attempted some pictures - but this was really fast because I just wanted out of there as quick as possible. I was really disappointed that our "fun family outing" ended up being a yelling contest for me. I don't think I relaxed for even one moment we were there. And I was so sad because I had such high expectations for having a great time with my kiddos. 

Maybe it's my fault that they behave this way. We don't go out to eat. We don't go to social functions. Maybe it's my fault that they don't know how to behave in public places. Their version of an outing is to the grocery store or to get diapers at Target or breakfast at Gams and Pops. Maybe it's my fault because I am not a social person and shy away from big gatherings or crowded places. I was just completely embarrassed at their behavior and the fact that I had to yell at all (in the church pumpkin patch, no less.)

So this was our pumpkin adventure this year. I don't think we're going to carve our pumpkin. I'll probably cook it after Halloween.

More new things at therapy

Today we went up to Marti's house again and I took all three kiddos. Thankfully Marti's neighbor said she would watch Cruz and Ry while Kai has his therapy. This is huge because now I don't have to go through the city during rush hour traffic when Peter is awake. So we went up at 11am today and it was smooth sailing with no traffic. Ryenne instantly started playing with the other little girls' and Cruz was a cruiser.

This time Kai and I went into the sauna first with the therapy music playing. We sweated and sweated! When he came out, he was happy and jolly. Marti got him on the swinging platform with his feet in the front to exercise his side muscles (the last times he wouldn't let Marti put him on the platform) so already this is big. Then she stimulated his mouth with a vibrating thingy that she had attached a lollipop to. Last time he wouldn't let her turn the vibration on, but this time he did. We came to the conclusion that we will now do the sauna first thing before the therapy because he seems to be so much more cooperative.

Marti explained to me that Kai reacts to things with an instant "fight or flight" response. She gave me examples: if someone brushes your arm just slightly, you tend to move your arm quickly. Or if you touch something hot, you move your arm instantly. It's fight or flight. But if you grab a cup you think is full but it's really empty and it's lighter your arm is already up high with the cup before you realize it's empty. The brain processes that information more slowly. With Kai, he reacts to everything instantly with that "fight or flight" response.

So we're "resetting" this. She gave me this little medical brush and showed me how to brush his body with it - his arms, back, legs, hands, and feet. What this does is flood his brain with sensation and will hopefully reprogram his "fight or flight" response to use it when it's appropriate and to process things more normally in other situations.

I am hoping that I understood it all correctly. So much info to soak in! We have set it up so that we will have therapy twice a week. I'm thankful that she has all of this knowledge and the sauna because it's doing a world of good for him. He hasn't given me a blank stare in a few days and he's talking quite a bit.

Feet off the ground

As promised, some video and pictures of Kai on the swing. I went a little overboard with pictures - I know. I was just so thrilled for him. Now he has more confidence outside. He is loving the swings!!!

I am pooped after two days of a preschool photo shoot. It was fun but exhausting! It's so funny that I went from no shoots to four in four days. I have a huge "To do" stack of things on my desk. Now to find the time to do them... 

We have another therapy day tomorrow - back in the sauna again as well!

Cruzito is scooting all over the place now. I had to use the bathroom and I was quick, but when I came out he had scooted into the kitchen and discovered how to open the cupboard of the art supplies all by himself. This is how I found him. He was thrilled with himself. Now I think I'll put a latch on that cabinet!

Evening

This afternoon I took my tired bunch over to Gams and Pops as I was doing a photo shoot with my friend Christie (she'll be doing our family pictures soon). The kids were cranky but Pops played with them and they had a great time. My photo shoot was great aside from a pile of fire ants. Boy am I pooped though! I'm hoping it will be a good nights' sleep for all. I am doing a photoshoot at a preschool tomorrow and Tuesday and have to be up really early!

I had one of Mom and Windy Cow, but it didn't come out in focus. :( Mom is leaving tomorrow morning - early - for Reno. I'm already looking forward to her coming back home!

Perfect and Thankful

Perfect:

Breakfast at Gams and Pops house this morning with the most amazing pancakes on the planet.

A cool breeze and overcast skies.

Caterpillars caught with Ryenne's little hands.

Kai experiencing the swing for the first time with a smile on his face. *


Thankful:

For Marti who is helping Kai grow in so many ways that I notice every single day.

For my parents who are funding Kai's therapy.

* - Kai has been afraid of having his feet off a solid surface. He usually won't swing, won't sit on a ball without his feet touching. Today he went on the swing all by himself and was smiling. His feet weren't touching the ground. It was a huge milestone to witness!

Video's from Today

Activities

Yesterday I went grocery shopping while the bigger kids were at school. I just thought I'd take a picture of my counter filled with groceries because I had so much groceries for $100 (the vitamins were $40 of that) I was just so impressed. You don't even see the eggs and two boxes of cereal in this image! 

That cauliflower there along with one of the zucchini's became dinner tonight. I tried an experimental recipe and made cauliflower alfredo. It came out quite tasty! Although next time I think I'll add a bit more garlic. 

My Canon G9 is on the fritz right now. I am using my old Fuji 6mp and it's still going strong. Glad I held onto it so I have a quick, easy camera to grab. All these images are with the Fuji. 

Gams & Pops bought a Thomas the Train tunnel to help with Kai's therapy as he's supposed to crawl as much as possible. It's been a huge hit with both boys! 

Kinda funny though since Cruz is scooting all over the place I'll think, "Where did Cruz go?" and then I find that he's scooted into the tunnel and is just hanging out. It's like his little fort. 

I had a pile of artwork from Ryenne's class and I noticed on one of them that her name was written as if she had done it. Ryenne has insisted for months that she doesn't write and doesn't want to write. I asked if she had written it. She said she did with her teachers help. It made me a little sad that she is ok with writing with her teacher but wants nothing to do with writing with me. So I bribed her with gummy bears and painting today. 

I wrote an R and told her if she could write me a good R I would give her a gummy bear and she could paint these plaster trucks that a friend gave us. The bribe worked! 

 

 The R's on the very right we drew together... my hand over hers. The two R's in the middle she did all by herself!! SO PROUD!

No pictures of Kai Boy today. He had a rough morning. For some reason he won't poop at school - so he had been holding it yesterday and this morning he was constipated. Finally he passed it and he wasn't at all comfortable. So we headed out into the backyard so he could be a nakey boy, which he loves. We planted some sunflowers, some lettuce, he watered all the plants, and we played choo-choo train with the wagon. He even got to pee on the fence! It ended up being a good day for him, after all!

Kai's 2nd Therapy Day

Today I took Kai for his second day of therapy with Marti. We decided to conduct an experiment since on his last session we did music therapy AND sauna at the same time. This time around we did music therapy first to see if it made a difference on it's own followed by sauna therapy to see it's effects without the music.

Kai has some sensory issues and doesn't like the headphones on his head. We put them on his head and tried to keep him very occupied to keep them on. He played with a lot of toys and Little Tykes cars. We got about 20 minutes of music therapy in before he took off the headphones and wouldn't put them back on. He played like normal, but there wasn't a large improvement with the low tone of his jaw/mouth area.

Next Kai and I went into the sauna for half an hour at 125 degrees. We played cars, sang songs together, and drank our water together. Like last week, he came out with a tighter jaw line and less drool. He talked in the car and sang. He made a "list" for the first time. He said, "Nilk Firsht, get puggy and ny-ny" - this translates to Milk first, get pluggy (paci) and go to sleep. His first list! He was totally pooped by the time we got home. We had quite a bit of traffic heading back to South Austin.

We got home and he said hello to Daddy, Ryenne, and Cruz. He got his milk, walked upstairs, and asked to go to bed. Tomorrow we'll be crawling in the tunnel more and I will try the headphones on him again.

Answers

I have been having nagging feelings that something is wrong with Kai. I don't want anything to be wrong with Kai - but I've been getting little pings in my gut that something is up. He has moments when he's so perfect and then moments where he's not.

An Occupational Therapist, Marti Smith, was recommended by a photographer friend and I took Kai to see her yesterday. I was blown away at her observations of my little guy.

She observed Kai in play, conversation, and conflict. Physically we have several issues going on:
- His hip/trunk muscles are not well developed. He sits on the floor with his legs like a W, as if his legs are a tripod, to hold up his body. This explains why he is constantly falling out of his chair. He doesn't have the strength the hold himself up for extended periods of time. She recommends correcting his floor sitting to cross-legged and encouraging him to crawl as much as possible (building forts, putting tunnels in the living room) to strengthen his hip and trunk area.

- He views things with his peripheral vision. He approaches things sideways. And further, he moves his eyes sideways in one direction and moves his whole head in the other direction. Next step is to see if we have Vision coverage and have his eyes checked out.

- He is very tense in his upper chest and shoulder area. He does not relax his upper body making it challenging for him to have enough breath to speak. Marti showed me a massage technique to get him to relax his upper body.

- His jaw and mouth muscles have no strength - thus the tongue hanging out and drooling problem. Marti recommends we have him play with a vibrating toothbrush to stimulate his mouth to move around. She also sent us home with headphones and special therapy music to try for two weeks to train his brain on proper sounds so that he can emulate them.

There is more but my brain is so overloaded with information I am still processing it all. Is all of this caused by the CFL lightbulb that burst on him? I don't know. I don't know if I will ever have the answers as to what has caused all this in my little guy who was perfectly on track for his age at the beginning of the year. The good news is that Marti knows he can be brought to where he should be. It will take work, but it will happen. He's the perfect age as his brain is like a sponge.

We did one other therapy thing while we were at Marti's house. It is only experimental and we agreed that it wouldn't hurt him to try it. She calls it "Voodoo" cause she can't explain what exactly is going on.

Anyhow, Kai and I went into her infrared sauna for half an hour at 120-125 degrees. We both had lots of water, toys, and he had snacks as well. We both sweated a lot. I kid you not... when we came out he was like a bright, shiny, brand new boy. He closed his mouth, went on the swing in her living room (he hates swings!), and hugged Marti. By this time of the appointment, Marti had to get her kids and I had to get back home to nurse Cruz. I loaded Kai into the car and we stopped at the red light at the end of her street. The light turned green. And I heard, "Mama, light is geen (green). Let's go!" WHAT????? This from the boy who doesn't talk in sentences???? WHAT?????  So I said, "Yeah let's go!" and he said, "Let's go!" again. He started laughing and noted the truck that was next to our car. Then more words, "How wum Daddy didn't come?" WHAT????? I said, "What Kai?" to see if he would say it again. He did. I cried. Then he asked why Ryenne didn't come. He was a chatterbox the entire way home. How can I explain this? I can't. I simply can't.

When we got home and he was back in his normal environment he regressed. He wanted milk and he wanted a banana and then he wanted to go to bed. He went to bed early. He later awoke and called for me. He shoved his plug into his mouth and gagged on it and threw up. He threw up a couple times last night. I'm not sure if it's a result of the sauna or if he had a tummy bug. I was going to keep him home from school. But this morning he was so bright eyed and wanted to go to school so I took him.

I feel a sense of validation that I was right to trust my gut. I know that this is only the beginning of healing for him and I'm sure there will be obstacles along the way. But I'm glad that we didn't just sit back and pretend that everything is fine. I knew that it wasn't.

I kissed that foot

The other night was holding Cruz in my lap while I was editing photos. He wanted to nurse so I started nursing him and holding up his right foot and kissing it.

His right foot has developed a really sweet freckle on the bottom. It is highly kissable. And his foot is exactly the size from my thumb to pointer finger tip.

I kissed that foot. And I kissed that freckle. And I told him someday when he's a grown man with gigantic feet I'll be able to tell him, "I kissed that foot!". Cruz laughed and laughed when I kept kissing his foot and telling him I'd remember that moment forever. It was really special.

He is getting so big so fast! He is army crawling all over the living room and kitchen floors. He can sit up for longer periods of time without any support. The upper toofers are peeking through and he looks like a little Pumpkin head. It's all passing SO FAST I can hardly believe it. So I'm just really trying to soak in every ounce of his babyhood that I possibly can.

Yesterday we were at the neighbors house and the Grandma was visiting. She met Kai and she met Cruz and asked if they were twins (!) cause they're the same size. Isn't that funny?

Windy Cow

My share today comes from my dad... Pops as I refer to him most :)

This is my mom with Windy - her cow. Windy is a special cow that thinks she's a dog.

Closer.... closer.... !!!

It's Friday. Friday's are my official weigh in days where I weigh myself first thing in the morning and log it onto Calorieking.com.

I don't know if I've explained much about my methods for weight loss, so I'll go into it a little bit. Basically, it's everything that you're supposed to do - eat good food in moderation and move your body. What I needed in my life was a way to measure what's going in and how much I move so I could manage it throughout the day. I don't have to restrict my favorite things, which is key here. I just put a bit more thought into planning my day and have stopped eating things off the kids' plates.

Anyway, after I had Cruz I felt heavier than I ever had before - Although in retrospect my heaviest was actually before I got pregnant with Ryenne - but for some reason I also felt more motivated and empowered than ever before as well.

At the end of March I was about 229 pounds. In July I joined calorieking.com at 219 pounds. Since joining and logging everything, it's been a steady 1 - 2 pounds per week which has been fabulous! This morning I weighed in at 191.4 - so close to getting into the 180's! Setting these small goals for myself makes me feel like I'm always celebrating a victory. Also huge for me.... since saying, "I want to lose 50 pounds." seems like an impossible task.

I am feeling so healthy and so amazed. Sometimes when I see my face in the mirror I think, "Who is that?" - I haven't seen that face my entire adult life.

On the flip side, it's also a little bit scary. I have always been the "Big Girl" so I'm trying to figure out who I am now. As strange as that sounds, I keep trying to label myself but can't figure it out. Clothes are also another interesting issue. Basically everything that I had before doesn't fit. My mom bought me some new clothes and I have been picking something up here and there but mostly it's hard to find things that fit. And I'm not used to shopping for clothes, either. It feels like a foreign world and I am clueless. Most of the things in my closet that don't fit anymore I had bought in my early twenties - everything - shirts, jeans, shorts, ect. The only "new" things were maternity clothes and I have no need for those anymore! It's just a frustrating issue for me. I am not enjoying clothes shopping as much as I thought I would. Instead I feel guilty for buying anything because I don't know how long it will fit for and I feel like I'm just wasting money.

Anyway, now I'm rambling. I am both excited and scared at this body transformation. Keep cheering me on everyone!

Saimin and Cheeseburgers and Fall

Isn't it funny how when the weather "cools" to 80 degrees in the daytime I go outside, breathe, and am thankful that Fall has hit us in Austin? I will be even happier when the high of the day is 75 :) But I am so enjoying it not being so crazy hot and we can actually go outside and play.

Since the weather is starting to cool and I feel more like cooking, I've been experimenting with new things. Peter and I are both a bit homesick over foods we miss on Maui that we just can't get here. So I've been experimenting and trying to recreate flavors.

One of those things is a big bowl of Saimin (Ramen to mainlanders). I've made it twice in the past two weeks and it's been a big hit. The kids love to slurp and play with the noodles.

I also made some Korean Tacos - which were awesome. Basically if you've ever had Bulgogi, it's that meat with cilantro, cabbage, shredded carrots, and green onion in a corn tortilla. Couldn't get pictures... they were gone to fast.

Peter has also been on a personal quest to find the best Cheeseburger in Austin. He has tried several places and yet our favorite continues to be the little cafe (Cafe 1626) by our house. But a friend of his said to try Huts Burgers downtown, so we decided we would make a lunch date with Cruz while the older two were at school.

 

It was really fun going into Downtown Austin. The burgers were good, but not great. Cafe 1626 is still the winner so far!

While the kids were in school yesterday we took Dexter to the pet groomers down the street. He got a bath and his nails cut and filed. He smells so good! He is really loving his new role in the household. He is so gentle with the kids and it's amazing to watch him thrive without Chico here anymore. He now sleeps with Ryenne snuggled up by her feet in her bed.

And back to it being Fall.... it is as my Grandpapa would have said, "Delicious" to be outside. This morning me and the kiddos went into the backyard to enjoy the mild sunshine, the cool breeze, and just enjoy.

New Toofer

Cruz has officially broken through the gums for his first ever top tooth. It looks huge. He is going to look like such a pumpkin head. No wonder he hasn't slept well the past two nights!

On another note, we are really enjoying Dexter dog. We have been taking him for walks and he slept with Ryenne last night. This is Dex's first time in his life he isn't in Chico's shadow. It's a whole new life for him.

10/7

Today we woke for school in anticipation of Ry's very first school field trip. Excitement was in the air. She put on her school shirt and we all headed for school. The school bus was waiting in the parking lot. This was to be her first school bus ride!

I dropped off Kai in his class and took Ryenne to hers. Cruz and I then went and picked up Gams to follow us to the mall. My iMac started acting crazy the other day and I needed to have it looked at. Turns out that the repair is so costly I just decided to get a new one. The old one is, after all, about 6 years old and slow. I couldn't have Photoshop and Lightroom open at the same time. I was very bummed about this because money doesn't grow on trees and I almost cried handing over the money.

But then I thought to myself the positive sides of this - A) I just had a wedding and thankfully CAN buy this computer without using a credit card and B) it will make my workflow so much faster. Both computers are at Apple right now getting the files transferred from the old one to the new one.

On the way out of the mall, we saw Ry's class leaving Build-A-Bear. It was absolutely adorable.

When I picked up the kids from school I heard all about Ry's great day - they built a class animal at Build-A-Bear, went to have lunch at Zilker Park, and rode the train. Plus the schoolbus ride was an added bonus.

So those are the mundane happenings of today. Now to turn another direction....

As many of you know, I have had a lot of issues with my dog Chico. Peter and I discussed the life that Chico is living right now. He bites our children and he basically wakes up, get's put outside, fed, and then back in the laundry room at the end of the day. I am not happy that this is his life. I am not happy that my dog, the dog who was like my child before I had kids, lives this life. I'm not happy with the anger and hurt I harbor to him. How I look at him and love him, but yet I hate him when he hurts my child. It's just not healthy. And now that Winter will be coming and Cruz is starting to crawl (almost) it is just not safe to have Chico.

I had made an appointment today to talk to the vet about putting him down. Actually the appointment lady said that the doctor won't just put an animal down - it has to be discussed first. So I arranged for Mom to watch the kids and Peter and I could be together to talk to the vet.

Peter let Chico inside and we put on his blue and red harness. He was excited that he got to go somewhere. We headed to the vet and I shared my feelings with the vet about why we need to let Chico go and put him down. I wanted him to go peacefully with Peter and I with him, to love on him the way that we did before we had kids - when he was our everything. I just can't stand the thought of him going to a shelter and not being adopted because he's a child biter and being put down by himself. I can't just find another home for him and know that they may not treat him with kindness when he bites someone they know/love. I feel whole heartedly that this was the right thing to do. The vet agreed and said we could do it right then. I was caught a little off guard by doing it right then. I hadn't prepared myself fully. And I know that Peter hadn't prepared himself fully. But there we were... having that moment that I had thought about. Peter and I there together, loving on Chico as we did so much before we had kids. He kissed us both. We pet him and loved on him.

The Dr. gave him the same injection he would give to put an animal to sleep if he were cleaning their teeth or doing some minor surgery. Chico relaxed and we held him and pet him for about 5 minutes. When he was completely relaxed, the Dr came back and injected him and it was over. It was so fast. And so peaceful. We kissed him. And I KNOW in my heart that this was the right thing to do for him. But it still hurts and I'm still sad.

So rest in peace Chico McNugget. I hope you're in that big doggy park in the sky being the alpha dog you've always wanted to be. I'll always remember all of our happy moments together.

Improvements

Over the past few days I have noted a HUGE improvement with Kai. Even Peter has noticed it. It has been 5 or 6 days that I have had him on additional supplements, and though I cannot say whether for sure it is certain things that are helping, I know that something is helping him.

Today he said a sentence. He said, "Mama, I running!" and he ran across the living room. For a boy who was only mumbling days ago, this is HUGE.

For anyone interested, this is what I have him on:

-Kids multi-v gummies
- Kids DHA/Vitamin D/Omega 3 gummies
- Elderberry Syrup
- PRP Spray

What do I think is working the best? I honestly feel that it's a combination of everything, but here's the details on PRP spray:

 

  ● Proline-Rich Polypeptides (PRPs) From Fresh Colostrum

 

  ● Supports the Immune System

 

  ● Supports Healthy Cognitive Function

 

  ● Promotes Cytokine Production / Balancing

 

  ● Supports Reduction of Allergy or Autoimmune Symptoms

 

  

It is a bovine colostrum based natural immune building spray.  It contains Proline-Rich-Polypeptides (PRPs) which help to modulate normal immune responses.  

 

PRPs are tiny information carrying proteins with amazing adaptability.  In times of intense physical stress, they enhance immune activity by promoting the production of cytokines.  In the opposite situation, when a healthy immune system reacts to environmental factors through cytokine production, PRPs send signals via specific cell receptor sites to decrease the production of cytokines in order to balance the immune system.  

 

PRPs help regulate the thymus gland (the body’s central command for the immune system), stimulating an underactive immune system or down-regulating an overactive immune system as seen in autoimmune disease.  They inhibit the overproduction of lymphocytes and T-cells and reduce the major symptoms of allergies and autoimmune disease: pain, swelling and inflammation.

 

Kai doesn't mind taking it. Ryenne gags on it. It doesn't taste the best but it's not horrible either.  

 

The other key things that are at play here is Vitamin D and DHA. Kai weaned himself from nursing at 8 months and I hadn't thought to put him on a DHA supplement. It has also been so crazy hot that we haven't been outside as much as we should have throughout the month of August and perhaps we all had a little Vitamin D deficiency. 

I was  finally able to get hold of the Early Childhood Intervention place in Austin and we are now in their system and a counselor should be calling to set up a speech evaluation for Kai. If he needs the therapy, they come to our home and provide it for free until he is three years old. 

 

I have also told our family pediatrician that I am insisting that he be tested for Mercury, as it's just one of those things nagging in my gut. It will give me the peace of mind that I need and send us in the right direction with the results. 

Kai's Party & Check Up

On Sunday I spent the day cooking away... we were having a really casual birthday dinner for Kai with our Texas 'Ohana - Gams and Pops, the Moore's and the Parayno's.

It was really nice just hanging out, talking story... kinda like having a cookout back in Hawaii - we even had luau food.

Kai got so many wonderful things for his birthday - much needed cool weather clothes, a shopping cart, Chuck the Truck set, and Cars. He has been a busy boy playing with everything!

So on to today....

Today was his 2 year check up. I was nervous about this checkup because of my concerns for his development and the thoughts of mercury. I was really hoping that his doctor would be more open to testing him. I realize that the amount of mercury in a lighbulb is about the size of the period in this sentence. However, he is so tiny and I truly believe that *something* is going on with him. As far as his stats, he is tiny. He's 5% for height and weight with a big head at 50-75%.

A friend of mine has given me recommendations for a natural doctor and occupational therapist and I think I might just make that call. I want to figure out what is going on with my Kai Boy.