A lot of you have suggested looking into sensory issues and possible evaluation of Ry and I think that's a route that we'll take when we get back to Austin. Kai does have sensory issues, which we're working on, but perhaps Ry does as well although in a different capacity.
Ryenne is a child that thrives off of structure and routine. Right now we are in a situation that is completely void of structure and routine. When you have 10 people living in a 3 bedroom house, all with different schedules, ideas, ages, ect it becomes impossible to follow a routine. There is no structure. Ry is freaking out and lashing out. She knows my buttons and she knows that I am in a weak position without Peter here and in a home where punishments are different than in our own. Plus I'm working more than ever and not as available to her as normal. It's a lot for a 5 year old mind to handle.
I've discussed this with my mom in law that Ryenne does need more discipline. She's agreed with me and we've taken away outtings from Ryenne until she can control her outbursts hurting Kai. It seems to be helping. I know it's a temporary fix, but I truly feel that when we're back in Austin and back into more structure that she'll become a happier person.
When we move back to Maui (date still not set), we will rent our own place and keep structure. I think it's the only way my kids will behave - all of them.
With all of that said, I have a couple videos to share - me tickling Cruz and Cruz and Kai at the Maui Mall waterfountains - these are new and FABULOUS. We took lunch and hung out. The boys had a ball (Ryenne didn't get to come as it was the day after the tantrum)
And Cruz in his little world - the front yard - in his Filipino tank top and diaper.
1 comment:
It's amazing all the things that can affect a child's behavior! From routines to a certain diet. Parenting is a hard job. When you have a child with extra challenges or special needs (for lack of a better way of putting it) it's all the more difficult. Raising kids seemed so easy when I was just a casual observer. So easy to be critical of what others were doing "wrong" and how I would do it...even though I had NO experience. Now I have my own children and I have discovered that although we all have similar experiences as parents..we are each dealing with out own unique children. It is a blessing to find people who have dealt with similar situations and can offer insight into ideas on how to handle some of the things we have to deal with, but ultimately it's up to us. Each day is a challenge for me as well. A challenge to bring out the BEST in Zachariyah and not to let the worst of me show when that doesn't happen how I'd like. I struggle with guilt over whether or not I am doing it "right"! We paid almost $10,000 out of pocket for ABA behavior therapy for Zman for 16 months. It was beneficial for all of us really. Gave me a little break twice a week for a couple hours and gave him one on one attention to help him focus. Unfortunately we had to stop in April because the money was just not there anymore! What could we do? Insurance did not cover ANYTHING and we couldn't afford to get deeper into debt. To say I felt guilty would be an understatement. However, he did start pre-school and is getting speech therapy through the school. He will also get occupational therapy when he starts Kindergarten in August. He is showing improvement with the new gluten free diet since April and we are hopeful every day. It's hard as his mom to see "little" steps when I want to seem him leap to catch up with his peers. He is a happy boy, but I struggle with wanting him to be"normal". Then I feel guilty about that too....what kind of mother am I? If I love him I should just accept him the way he is,right? But it's because I love him so much,and the doctor's say it's possible that I keep pushing for more from him. Anyway, I am rambling. We are all trying so hard Mariah, each with our own challenges. You are most definitely not alone! :) You are a wonderful mother with great kids.
xoxox
Missy
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