Monday, October 07, 2013

Thankful for them both

I don't think I've mentioned much anywhere my feelings on my parents divorce. I was talking to my dad the other day about it because when they call me or I call them, the divorce doesn't exist. You know how someone can move away or even pass on and your mind says, "Oh they're just not visiting you right now, but they're just down the street" or something of that nature. In my heart I'll always feel the strong connection between them both because they're my parents. And even though they are not together anymore, that doesn't make them any less my parents.

It's interesting to think about growing up - and for me, I was one of those kids who wanted to buy my own things - to prove I was helpful to the household. My parents have pretty much always been self employed, and with that comes financial ups and downs. I didn't quite understand it much when I was little, and then when I was a teenager I resented it because I wanted to buy things. I think one time in a rare moment of being upset, I screamed at my parents that I would never work for myself, that I would get a great job and always have money. I started working very early on because I didn't want to be a financial burden on my parents - I wanted them to not worry about me so that they could save for themselves and for Nico and Koa. Sounds heavy for a 16 year old, but that's just the way that I am.

But all of those years taught me the most important lesson ever - money doesn't buy happiness. Things are not happiness. It's the tooth fairy leaving sparkly kisses on your cheek, a father climbing on the roof to make a "boom" sound we thought was Santa's sleigh, home cooked meals (mostly before Koa - haha), and the freedom to be a kid and play outside all day. Happiness is growing up on a tight budget in Hawaii - pure and simple. I wouldn't trade it for anything.

And now here I am - self employed - reaching daily for happiness because it's been instilled so deeply in my soul from these people that did their best in everything everyday.

I am still the person who works hard so I'm not a burden on anyone - still work just a little harder to buy the "fancy" soap I really want - but instead of feeling as though the weight of the world is on my shoulders, I feel now that I am floating among the clouds - doing flips in the salty air. All because of the hard work of two very special people. Thanks guys - love you both tons and bunches!

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