I've gotten a few phone calls, thank you, from friends asking if I was ok - where have I been - have I stopped writing?
The truth of the matter is that I was in a rough place emotionally. I didn't want to write about all the wonderful things in my life, and there are many, because I was feeling down in the dumps trudging through mud and I didn't want to be fake and didn't want to make it seem like everything was fine. I already have to do that on other social media platforms and for whatever reason, this blog is my "safe place" to say what I want to say.
I'm working through all my issues and it's hard but possible.
The first half of 2016 is gone. We had an amazing trip to Disneyland in January, a trip to the Big Island, and I got to take Ry to San Jose and Austin (she's there for the summer and having a blast). Meanwhile I'm just trying to hold myself together. It's very hard to explain what's going on - maybe it's a mid-30's crisis I dunno.
I am a super happy, positive person so it's frustrating when I don't feel super happy. It's frustrating when I feel regrets for things I didn't do. In all honesty, looking back with 20/20 vision, I grew up too fast. Not that I started having kids too early, but more so I didn't HAVE FUN. I was so intent on working, making money, trying to succeed that I missed out on a lot of fun things and now I regret it. That's not to say that I would want to end up at a different end game, because that's not it at all.
Anyway, this post is to say I am OK - I'm here. I'm working on things. I'm working on myself because I need it.