Sunday, August 19, 2012

Mommy Guilt

It's been a while since I posted and it's because life has been hectic and crazy. Work has taken up a huge amount of time, and I am thankful and sad for it all at once. Thankful to be busy, to be making money to support my family in this very expensive place, thankful to see my name in publications I never thought I ever would, thankful to have a husband who helps with chores. And yet it's a little sad too because I am going through what every working mom goes through - intense mommy guilt.

I feel sad that I sit them in front of the tv so I can finish editing just a few more photos or answer a few more emails. It makes it harder that a huge chunk of my work is done at home, where they have to watch me and fight to get my attention. I haven't written about it because it's so deep and upsets me on so many levels, but I just have to get it out there. I feel guilty for not doing as many projects with them as I should and want to do. There simply aren't enough hours in the day to accomplish everything that my life requires. I have to learn to let certain things go (the dishes, certainly!).

My workload is winding down a little bit and I'm excited to do some projects with the kids and nervous about the money stopping for bit. If only things could be steady instead of hectic and then slow then hectic again. A little bit of "regular" would be ok for a little bit (you hear that God?).

We took the kids to Napili Park yesterday and had a picnic then ran around the play structure with them. We even had some races. It was a blast.

Today before Peter went to work we had a little Upcountry day. Puerto Rican food from the food truck, a trip to the strawberry farm, and to Nui farms to get our veggies. And now I sit with hours of editing in front of me with the kids plopped in front of the tv. guilt, guilt, guilt.

When we were in Texas I missed the smell of the burning sugar cane.

Front yard sprinkler play

Thought this was kinda cool - Ry's profile with sunlight.

Quick trip to the strawberry farm - see the baby horse and mommy horse in the background?

Apparently Ry and Kai didn't think the giant sunflower was as cool as I thought it was...

No comments: