Why does it have to be so hard?

I was in such a great mood this morning. I was so expecting the doc to say my follicles grew to the 2cm and that everything was good.

The left follicle actually died, while the right follicle shrunk from 1.5 to 1.25cm - not a healthy follicle. =( So she explained that a pregnancy is not likely this month (I'll still hold on to my glimmer of hope though).

I'm confused as to what to do next - I still haven't heard from Oahu, so I'm assuming the best thing to do is to continue the Gonal-F/Clomid combination, as at least it created a follicle (which I wasn't getting before).

Doc also said I need to reduce the stress factor and stop working for a bit. That sounds GREAT because I really miss Peter. It almost feels like I have to make an appointment to see him. I have about a month left taking pictures at the Westin which is good because I think that's about all I can take. The job is technically easy, but very exhausting for me.

I'm in a bad mood right now. It's crazy that all these months are whirling by. It's like I'm stuck in a fog just waiting for each day to pass until the next cycle hoping that will be 'the one'. Does that make sense or am I just a total dork?

Anyways, I'm gonna try to get a little nap in before I go back to the Westin in a couple hours.