Meditation

I came upon this song recently by Priscilla Ahn - it's very soothing to my soul. Here are the lyrics to the first portion...

I was a little girl

Alone in my little world

Who dreamed of a little home for me

I played pretend between the trees

And fed my houseguests bark and leaves

And laughed in my pretty bed of green

I had a dream

That I could fly

From the highest swing

I had a dream

Long walks in the dark

Through woods grown behind the park

I asked God who I'm supposed to be

The stars smiled down at me

God answered in silent reverie

I said a prayer and fell asleep

I had a dream

That I could fly

From the highest tree

I had a dream

To the Rescue

I had a super rough night last night. I even found myself in the tub at 3am taking a bath with Cruz after he threw up everywhere. It just didn't end.

I had to call Gams to come rescue me this morning. I had the kids at the table with their breakfast and felt like I could barely function. Her and Pops came to my rescue and I passed out in my bed. Not just my average "sleep half awake just in case anyone needs me" sleep - but a true, hard, "lights out" type of sleep. I feel like an entirely new person.

Three little monkeys is a hard task for anyone, but then add to that nights alone, mornings alone, early afternoons alone... sometimes it feels like I'm a single parent! Not placing any blame here on Peter - AT ALL - it's just the way that it is.

So thanks Gams and Pops for coming to my rescue this morning. Seriously appreciated.

Last Day

Today was the last day of school for Ryenne and Kai. They were each so excited to go to school today.

While they were away, I was hoping to catch up on some sleep. Cruz has his first cold and is a little miserable Opihi boy. (Opihi is a limpet that sticks to rocks for all you non-Hawaiian readers). Cruz had alternate plans and wouldn't sleep so I snagged a few pictures of him in his cute onesies for SuperSweetCreations.

He's in a relatively good mood here...

So then we went to pick up Kai at his school and he was still napping. It's a treat to get to see him nap. He likes to sleep at home in such solitude and such dark that I rarely get to see him sleep. He's the epitome of a sleeping angel...

And then he woke up. He was groggy, but I snagged a picture of him and Miss Jolee - his first ever teacher. Miss Jolee told me how much she enjoyed having him in her class and what a helper he is to the other kids. She gave me a bag full of cards that the other kids had "made" for him. And what really touched me is that she cried and hugged Kai before we left. VERY special.

After we left Kai's school, we got to Ry's and she had a full on pizza party today. Everyone was abuzz with talks of summer break and cubbies were being cleaned out.

Ry said goodbye to Miss Jenn...

And Miss Shawnda...

All of these teachers have been so awesome to my kids. I couldn't have asked for anything better. In the Fall, they will both be going to Manchaca UMC and I am excited to be driving to one school instead of two. I can't believe Ry will be in the 4's class. One more year till Kindergarten! WOW!

We headed home and played outside for just a little while. It was HOT! But then we heard music outside and new shave ice truck was rolling through our neighborhood. Peter bought the kids shave ice and they hopped in the stroller and we took a walk to get the mail. We were all hot and sweaty and came back into the AC t o cool off.

Something good must have been on TV!

Cruz was again in not such a great mood (look at that face!) so Kai tried to cheer him up.

But, then he gave up and decided he wanted to be goofy instead :)

It's officially the start of summertime in the Dagupion household!!! Oh boy! Please let me keep my sanity (or whatever is left of it!)

Stuff

A few days ago our neighbors from Maui flew in to Austin to check out Marble Falls for a possible upcoming move. Huge dork that I am... forgot to take a picture with them while they were here! But it was a great visit and they brought some beautiful hand made soaps for the kids, an E Komo Mai sign for our front door, and a special fish for Cruz. Here he is with his very first Humuhumunukunukuapua'a!

Thank you Karen and Phil!!

And this seems to be Cruz's favorite sleep spot lately... right on daddy on the couch.

So today I got a real treat... I got to get out of the house without the kids with Peter and we went to watch Iron Man 2 at Alamo Drafthouse. That was my first time there. The movie was really entertaining and it felt so nice to dress up. Here we are all excited! And we hadn't even left the driveway yet... haha

So when we were driving down our street I noticed that Pops' truck was at the house in addition to Mom's. I joked to Peter, "Oh boy! I hope she didn't have to call Pops for backup!" and sure enough she had. They both had a rough few hours... SORRY GUYS! But THANK YOU so much for giving me a few hours of freedom!!!!

Cruz got major snuggles when I got home.

His first fall :(

We were outside playing today and Kai had his first real fall. I feel terrible. I was so close to him and I just wasn't fast enough.

He was up in the little playhouse section of the swingset and I was talking to him and telling him to come down the slide and I was reaching for him. He looked out of the little window and he's so top heavy he tumbled right out, flipped, and landed face down on the grass. He has a double fat lip. I leaped over the slide and picked him up and inspected him. He wouldn't take ice on his lip so I gave him a popsicle instead. I WAS SO CLOSE. I keep telling myself that this is probably the first of many little boy "accidents" that will occur, but I still feel horrible. I was so close.

I watched him for any signs of a concussion, but he was his normal self (plus fat lips) all afternoon and ate his dinner. Oh... the emotions and traumas of being a mom!

Keeping Busy

My nights and days are such a blur... the days are passing so quickly that I often think, "Wasn't that just yesterday?" only to look at the calendar and realize that a week has flown by.

I took and amazing girls trip with my mama up to Ikea (Cruz came too) and got some much needed shelving and inspiration. It was so much fun.

The kids got sick (again) so we did inside activities. This included the new art paper and scissors that I got at Ikea.

You can tell Ry isn't feeling so hot in this picture - but she had a great time using her new scissors.

And the new pens...

Kai had more fun decorating himself. But that's ok. He sure looked cute doing it. I think he has finally cut a new molar. I say "I think" because he won't let me feel in his mouch. But he was definitely NOT himself over the past few days. Finally today he is doing better and back to his sweet little self.

So Wednesday evening it was warm and the kids hadn't had a fever for more than 24 hours so we decided to go check out the pool. Our first trip to the pool as a family of 5. Wow... we took a lot of stuff!

Typical Ry... wouldn't look at the camera.

Kai Boy was afraid for some reason. I'm sure he'll be a little fish again in no time, but this moment... see his little hands holding onto Peter? I just had to capture those little hands. Too bad my P&S camera didn't have more zoom.

And here is Cruz. His first time at the pool. He did GREAT! He kicked and didn't fuss.

I'm totally excited and inspired to look toward the very near future... I have saved enough to rip out the carpet in the living room and put down wood. I just have to find the 'right' wood. I am pretty sure that I can make the living room look presentable and simple and actually have clients over.

I am hoping and prayingn and sending out vibes into the universe for Peter to get the TSA job he applied for. Once he gets it, I am going to put in an application to buy our house. Technically the house is my dad's... and it's on an interest only loan. I want it under my name and I want a 30yr fixed. The rates are so good right now. I HOPE it works. If it isn't the right time and we don't qualify, we still have time. But I am inspired.

I feel like such a busy person. Fortunately photography was good to me this month. What it holds for the future is always a guessing game, but I enjoy it so much. The kids have kept me crazy busy and I feel like I don't have enough attention units to provide to everyone. Sometimes I feel like I am on my very last nerve. Laundry suffers. Cleaning suffers. But I have spent some lovely time outside with them lately. I wouldn't trade that for anything!

Big

WOW. Cruz is so big. It's so funny that all three of my kids have stayed in the newborn stage for such a short time - actually they were all born big - so when I photograph a little 5 or 6 pounder it's like a foreign object to me.

Cruz will be 11 weeks old - not even 3 months - and I kid you not I put a 9 month old onesie on him today. The 6 monthers are all getting tight in the arms and crotch. I can't even believe how big he's getting so fast. We kid around that he'll be passing on clothes to Kai.

And it's not just Cruz either... Ryenne is on a spurt. Her 4t shorts are getting tight. Oh my! Healthy little growing eaters is what I got! But poor Kai.. he's still such a shrimp. A cute shrimp.

Ginger & Wendy

Me and the kids went to Gams and Pops' house this morning. As usual, we went hungry since we know that Gams cooks up some of the best breakfast on the planet. It was pretty comical while we were there, though. Kai threw up, made doo-doo, Cruz pooped on Gams, Ry had potty issues... it was funny for them to see my daily life of cleaning things that come out of both ends of my kids. Okay...sorry... too much info! haha

We also went over there to visit with Ginger and Wendy, the sweet cows that now live on the property. There are two new black cows now too, but they don't have names yet...

Couldn't have been a more gorgeous day!!

Wendy Cow

Kai Boy

I love this one!

Ry with Ginger & Wendy

Gams took Ry in the pasture to pet Ginger. It was SO COOL!!!

Gams held Kai Boy cause he wasn't feeling good :(

And lastly... Kupono the Pitt Bull who is in love with Ginger!

::Rain, Thunder::

Rain falls down and feeds the Earth
the smells fill my nose and tickle my senses
Rain feels of comfort and warmth and snuggling
the melody feeds my soul
Thunder shakes the walls around me
the sound brings hugs and comforting
Storms rumble through
to bring me back to serenity

the best medicine

In the past few hours I have:

~ heard Ryenne say, "G'morning mama. I love you"
~ gotten Kai out of his bed and received a giant bear hug from him
~ heard Cruz coo at me when I changed him
~ received a kiss from Kai just for giving him his favorite cereal

these little things truly are the very best medicine.

breakdown

Really rough day today. I don't know what's wrong with me... I am completely hormonal. The kids were really whiny today which helped push me over the edge. My face is totally breaking out in pimples and I hate it.

Cruz has grown out of every single newborn and 3 month outfit he has, so I went upstairs into my closet to check the bin of Kai's clothes to see what kind of jammies I could find for Cruz to wear. TOTALLY LOST IT. I was looking at the clothes and it just doesn't seem like that long ago that Kai was wearing them and I just started bawling right then and there. Like I'm not very sad, it was just a trigger to let go of everything I've been holding onto inside. Peter found me in the closet just totally loosing it. It felt good to cry like that. Maybe I'll do it again. I just feel so "off" today.

Swingset and Mother's Day

As promised... pictures of the kids on the new swingset! Only one of Ry. She had a meltdown and got sent on time-out.

Today is Mother's Day. I had a rough night last night with Cruz. I was hoping to sleep in, but Ryenne said, "Wake up Mama! I'm not going to tell you there's cards downstairs for you. And I'm not going to tell you the purple one is from me." She was so excited. How could I turn her down? So I got up.

I'll be perfectly honest and confess I was a bit miffed to wake up and see the table hadn't been wiped when it was my one request last night after I had done the dishes. So I cleaned that up and then sat down and opened a sweet card from each of the kids and from Peter. Ryenne made me a beautiful soap at school, too. I had to giggle because when I opened Peter's card, it was the same card that he got me last year. But really it's not what comes printed on the card that matters. It's what is hand written that is the most important to me.

I am having quite the morning though! Cruz has already thrown up on me, peed on me, pooped on me, and both Ry and Kai have each had a meltdown. 11am and I'm tired! Plus a little hormonal... my face has completely broken out in pimples and I want to hide under a rock.

It's up!

Today the swingset was completed!!! Kai gasped in awe when I showed him. He climbed up the rock wall and slid down the slide. Ryenne tried the monkey bars first. I took pictures... I'll post them up tomorrow.

Several people pitched in to make this project happen and I'll send emails individually to thank you. This will be the highlight of the summer!

at this moment...

Right now I am watching Kai put a blanket on his new baby brother. He is so gentle. He is giving him a kiss as he says "My baby." It is perhaps one of the sweetest things I have ever witnessed.

Big Boy

I took Cruz to his doctor today for his two month check up. He is HUGE. 13lbs, 6oz... falls into the 90th percentile. Height is on target at 50%. So I've got a little tubba-tubba boy. He sure is cute. He is cooing and gooing and smiling up a storm. He loves it when Peter holds his arms up and says, "I WANT CAKE!" - he thinks that's the funniest thing ever.

Small Kine Van Lust

I never, EVER, EVER thought I would say this:

I am having van lust. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE my Scion XB. It's sporty and cute and hip. BUT, I have 3 carseats crammed into the backseat and a stroller in the back. I went to go get Kai a basketball hoop today and I couldn't fit it in the car. I wish I could pick up mom and dad and we could all go cruise somewhere instead of having to take two cars. VAN LUST.

So I've run a few numbers. My *dream* van, the above Honda Odyssey Touring is just slightly out of budget (used of course). But a really nice, practically new Kia minivan with all the same features would actually be the exact same payment as I'm paying now for the Scion. Hmmmm.... lust, lust, lust.

Summer-ish!

The thermometer read 92 degrees today! Definitely popsicle weather! We headed into the backyard to enjoy some homemade popsicles and laugh and play.

Those eyes! Gah! I love her. She's got an inner and outer ear infection right now. She's not feelin' so hot.

Kai loves popsicles!

Cruz was smiling and enjoying being outside (for a while).

Then shortly after popsicle time and play I got to work making dinner. Cruz was hanging out in his carseat and the window light was PERFECT. Incredibly PERFECT. This has ZERO edits aside from resizing for the web.

And finally... dinner. It's my cheat day today so I can have whatever I want. So tonight was Linguine Alfredo! Homemade sauce. Pretty, huh?