I emailed my good friend Brandon on Maui, who is an amazing tattoo artist and owner of Four 29 Threads & Tattoos in Haiku and showed him some artwork that I'm thinking of. I'm getting my first ever tattoo at the end of our trip. I'm excited!

The blog has been a little slow, but life is, as usual, crazy. In a good way.

I've been working hard on getting my Maui site going - reading about search engine optimization, targeting keywords, going through thousands of photos from years past. I am learning a lot - a really lot - about my business and where I want to take it. Realizing that in years past I had no idea about marketing - and thus never took off. I always wondered how these photographers who have been around for a couple of years could do so well when I've been struggling to get off the ground since 2002. I know why. I'm not a savvy business person. I am shy. I had no idea what I needed to do to get the word out and I put my money in the wrong places. I am learning. And I'm so full of optimism and hope and dreams that I can't sleep at night. My brain won't shut off - there's too much learning to be done. Too much to put into practice.

The kiddos have been pretty darn adorable lately. Cruz is still trying to walk - he can get across the living room (with a big smile on his face) and is so excited with himself. But that's the extent of it so far. I know that once he 'gets it' he'll be off running after Ryenne and Kai.

Kai has been a funny boy lately. He has gotten very into Superheroes. He loves to wear Ry's old Superman shirt and I recently found a Spiderman shirt at Savers that he adores. I caught him stockpiling plugs - he had two in his mouth. I really want to phase them out, but he's such an easy going boy (for the most part) and he LOVES his pluggies. It's so hard to take a lovey away. He doesn't have a special blankey or bear that he's attached to - just these plastic things - he even has a preference for the orange ones. *sigh*.... what to do...

I tried to reason with him telling him that Pluggies are for babies and asked, "Are you a baby or a big boy?" and he looked right at me and said, "Mama, I a KAI BOY!" - and there's no arguing with that, now is there?

I took my first walk around Town Lake the other day with my friend Nicole. I always thought it was so funny how they call this a lake, since it's a river (Texans!). It was beautiful walking over the bridge at the end of our three mile walk. 

As I opened the picture in photoshop to resize it, I zoomed in on the graffiti on the bridge. It reads,
"Focus one point and BREATHE"  - a message straight to my heart and soul.

What a day!!!

This morning I had my alarm set for 5:30am. My dad came over at 6am and I headed off to downtown for my first ever 5K! 

Downtown was jamming with people - 20,000 for the Austin Marathon and Half Marathon and I don't even know how many for the 5K, which started half hour after the marathon. 

I put on my bib and people watched. People watching is so funny. You see one person stretching and then you see someone else watch them and start mimicking the stretching. I almost giggled to myself several times. 

When they announced that it was going to start I followed the crowd and heard the airhorn and started jogging along with all the other participants.  I did my usual jog for one minute, speed walk for a minute and a half and alternate those two over and over. We started at the Capitol building and went up to U.T. and then down to the Paramount Theater on Congress. As I ran passed the finish line I was all smiles - I had never done anything like that before. I wore my Maui Built shirt. I showed shaka passing the finish line. It was awesome. 

This is me getting ready to go to the starting line. I wore a Breathe Right strip so I could breath easily while running (and no makeup of course)

Came home and worked some more on my Maui website. In addition to the wedding I have there in July I got a shoot in June too. And a wedding in Wimberley in April. Great way to round out my day. I think I'll sleep well tonight! 

If I don't do it, how will it ever happen?

A lot has been on my mind these past weeks. Feeling homesick. Weighing options for my family and my kids. Having epiphanies about what is truly important to me and how I want to live the rest of my life. 

Life is a journey, after all, isn't it? Trying things. Failing. Succeeding. Learning.

The truth is I have felt stagnant with my photography for a while now. Uninspired. Dull. And a lot of it has to do with me not feeling comfortable in my surroundings. 

Before we moved to Texas, Peter and I talked about making sure we got back to Maui in the summers. Now that we have three kids, airfare isn't cheap. We couldn't make it happen last summer. So I posed myself this question: HOW CAN I MAKE IT HAPPEN? It's not simply saving some money here and there, it's beyond that - one of the biggest challenges ever - I have to be creative with this one. 

So I decided I'm opening a branch of my photography on Maui. I'll be offering portrait and weddings during the summer months - for significantly less than what I usually charge and what others there are charging - so that I can go home. And take the kids with me. The dates aren't set in stone yet, but we're leaving Austin sometime in June and will remain on Maui until mid-August. Peter will join us for the last three weeks we're gone. 

I've created a special website for this new endeavor - here's a screen shot:

I've designed this site to be unlike anything else offered on Maui. To celebrate the island - every part of it - not just the standard portrait. Check it out www.mauibeachphotographer.com and let me know what you all think. I am incredibly optimistic that this will do well. 

I told Peter and my parents that I am secretly hoping that it does so well that it might be able to sustain us if we move back. Yes. I am THAT homesick.

L-O-V-E

Our Valentines Day yesterday was pretty low key. 

Me and the kids cut up some magazines to use the pictures to make Valentine Cards for Peter. They loved getting messy with the glue stick. 

While the boys were sleeping me and Ry worked on some paper fairy dolls that Gams got her at Target. 

The fairies are sitting next to her bed in her room. 

Kai thought it would be funny to play "Tickle Monster" and he had to hide his face. The giggles were hysterical!

 Ryenne the fashionista :)

 Cooking helper "spying" what I was making for dinner. Actually - as I'm typing this I completely forget what we had...

 Who needs toys when there's a giant pack of toilet paper? This pack of TP has been a step stool, a chair, a motorcycle, a drum, and a push toy. Notice how Cruz is standing up all by himself.

The day also wouldn't be complete without a call to Poison Control. Kai had climbed onto the kitchen counter while I was with Cruz and opened the child-proof bottle of nausea meds that are for when I have a migraine. He put three in his mouth and apparently they didn't taste good cause he started crying. I got two of them out of his mouth, but he did swallow one (I counted pills so I know it was just one). Called poison control and they told me that it wouldn't harm him, but he would get drowsy. Sure enough... 

We had a lengthy talk about not opening medicines. I think he gets the point.

All in all a nice, mellow day!

How Silly I Am

I'll share with you how silly I am. I frequent real estate sites and Google Maps. Not just on Maui, but all over. In Texas, Portland, Seatlle, ect. I just love looking at old homes. I love the character - always have. It's a form of entertainment for me. 

Anyway, since I've been homesick I've been stalking the Maui Board of Realtors site more than usual. I found this gem in Wailuku in old Sandhill area. Swoon. Plantation House cutie. If someone were to ask me what my dream house might look like - this would be it - just with a thorough cleaning and some paint.

Poetry

I read a comment about possibly moving back Home when the kids are bit older - after they've had a good educational foundation built in mainland schools. Made me dream. 

I am doing a 30 Day song challenge on Facebook and today's theme is a song that reminds me of a place. Not so hard. 

Na Leo Pilimehana "I Miss You My Hawaii"

I hear the wind traveling down the Ko'olau

It touches my skin and makes me think of 

how much I miss you, my Hawaii

I breathe the fragrance of the yellow ginger lei

I look inside myself to find the words to say

How much I miss you, my Hawaii

Everytime I stop to watch the moon dance 

across the early evening sky

Everytime I hear a country tune I can see the 

shores of Wai'anae 

Everytime I listen to my heart telling me it longs

to go back home

And it makes me want to 

Cause I miss you, my Hawaii

I catch the glimmer of your face across the sky

I watch the setting sun and I begin to cry

Because I miss you, my Hawaii

I rest my head upon the sands of Waikiki

I close my eyes and I hear you calling me

How I miss you, my Hawaii

Disappointed

There can NOT be coexistence between GMO and non-GMO foods. The White House and Monsanto have hui'd up to deregulate genetically-modified (GMO) alfalfa. You can see the article here. Here's the problem... even if you don't eat alfalfa, this affects you.

I can tell you that as a person with hormonal imbalances, and everything I have been through with Kai Boy, it is imperative to keep GMO foods out of our diet. I'm not saying that you can't have GMO foods, I'm saying that it's important for me, for Kai, for my family to keep as natural as possible. With the deregulation, it's going to be easier for gmo foods to not be labeled and to sneak into our stores which we trusted. I am incredibly disappointed in the Obama administration for allowing this to happen.

If GM alfalfa is allowed to "coexist" with other crops, there will eventually be no distinction between organic, non-GM, and GM crops, because every crop will become contaminated with GMOs. This is why citizens must continue to fight GM alfalfa period.


Organic farming is vital. 


To contact Congress and Senate
CONGRESS
SENATE

To contact the USDA, email:
biotechquery@aphis.usda.gov

To contact the White House, call:
(202) 456-1111

Cookie Day

Ugh the kids gave me a rough night last night! Peter let me sleep in a little this morning, which helped, along with my two cups of coffee :) 

Kai asked to watch Blue's Clues this morning (I really think it's one of the most genius little kid shows ever) and he got so animated watching it. He jumped up yelling, "HI STEVE & BLUE!". Cruz came crawling over to see what all the fuss was about and was fascinated. The particular show was about counting so Ryenne and Kai were counting with Blue and Steve - Kai was counting! Actually COUNTING. I was very, very impressed. He will now tell you he is two if you ask. It's quite cute. 

Cruz is thisclose to walking still. He has taken 10 steps (with a huge smile on his face) but usually he likes to push something around the house. Either this bin or a chair :)

Today we decided to make a skillet cookie. We made a whole wheat molasses oatmeal chocolate chip cookie. The kids are normally afraid of the mixer, but I offered to hold their hand and let them hold the mixer's handle. They each took turns and really liked watching the dough get all mixed together. And they liked licking the beaters too. I put the dough in the skillet and let them decorate it with chocolate chips. More than half of the chips didn't make it onto the cookie, but that's ok. They had a great time making it. 

 Cruz got in on the chocolate chip action too.

Tonight the kids' school is putting on a spaghetti dinner so we'll be heading over. I won't have to do dishes :)

Thank You

I so appreciate having my own corner of the universe where I can come and vent my feelings from the depths of my heart - a place that, although public, is such a personal space.

I truly appreciate the comments and phone calls I got yesterday while I was feeling homesick. I had a beautiful conversation with my dad - it was precious to me. I am such a blessed person to have such a wonderful family.

Peter and I are both feeling the need to "go home" since we haven't had a vacation since we last went in August, 2009. Sadly we haven't been anywhere - not even around Texas - since then. I am pretty sure that when we make it back home this summer, we'll come back to Texas rejuvenated.

We had a really, really nice talk last night. We both agreed that Texas isn't the spot for us. We're sticking to our plan to move to the West Coast sometime in the next 5 years - Seattle, Tacoma/Olympia, or Portland.

Once Upon a Time

Once upon a time I was a little girl, barefoot, running around a coconut grove in Kuau, Maui. I could run to my heart's content to the ocean - splash, find shells, explore, come home salty. Fall into my bed exhausted. Hear the rain falling on the roof of our beach shack - the only thing separating me from outside a plate glass window and a screen with jalousies on the bottom.

My life was so simple. With the ups and downs of the construction business, we either feasted and shopped at Liberty House or ate beans and rice for weeks and shopped at Salvation Army. Trips to Salvation Army were like treasure hunts and I found so many wonderful clothes and shoes. 

Later we would move to Haiku and I would live in a 1929 Plantation House with a farm across the street. Each night I fell asleep to the sound of rain against a metal roof. I went to highschool and laughed that my English teacher spoke Pidgin, my Spanish teacher threw parties and didn't teach the language, and I sailed through highschool completely unnoticed.

When I started working at the Four Seasons in the reservations office when I was 19, I was introduced into the world of "having things". The chatter of the office was which Coach or Louis Vuitton bag you had, which new MAC makeup you were buying, and how many gold Hawaiian bangles you had on your wrist. Peter and I were working, why shouldn't we have "things"? Why did we have to live the simple life of our childhood? Enter credit card debt.

I will be the first person to admit that we didn't make wise choices when it comes to money. We bought a condo, refinanced, and remodeled up the wazoo with what we thought was important - when it really wasn't. We took mainland trips that we couldn't afford. We bought Coach bags. We even bought a diamond ring that I 'Had to have'. All ridiculous "things".

We chose not to live a simple life, and Maui kicked us in the rear - we couldn't afford to stay with the debt we had accumulated - with the bad choices we had made - and with our family growing. I swore that I didn't want my kids to have to grow up with just a "simple life". I want them to have all the educational opportunities that the mainland can provide.

And now we're here in Austin, Texas. We live in a suburban home so insulated from the elements that we cannot hear it raining. We have no mountains. We have no ocean. The kids have an amazing preschool. We've made friends. What I wasn't expecting was how out of place I would feel - How completely uneducated I feel here. I wasn't expecting the level of "Keeping up with the Joneses" there is here. Because here there really is a lot of money. It's not just people with their Coach bags going home to their little houses. It's BIG houses. REAL money. And I feel so tiny and small. It's a world I don't understand and I'm not sure I want to be a part of. My days of wanting "things" are over. If anything, I want a more simple life than ever. What I wouldn't give for a little plantation house with a metal roof - taking my keiki's to the beach. A simple life. I think, "What have I gotten myself in to?".

And then I remember the cost of living.  And I remember the education. If I raised my kids on Maui, they would be just like me. Doesn't every parent want their kids to do better than them? I do. I want them to be smarter, to know more than I do, to be smarter about money. But what if I'm making the wrong choice? What if they grow up and say, "You mean I could have had a simple life on Maui and grown up in a little house and gone to the beach? Why did you make me go through all the competitive crap on the mainland?" or they could be grateful for the sacrifices that we're making - part of our own happiness - to make sure they have more opportunities. Will they ever even understand?

Once upon a time I was a little girl and my parents made all the hard choices for me so I could sleep soundly with the rain singing on my rooftop without a care in the world.

My beautiful girl

Ok I can't do it. I can't hold out until Valentine's Day. I had too much fun taking these picture of Ryenne. She was really into it - and she hasn't been into photo shoots for a while. 

We then headed to Gams and Pops' house to see if we could do some outdoor stuff. Cruz was game!

But by this point Ry was over it. And a little cold. 

Randomness

Ryenne loves to play on the Photo Booth on my computer. We did these together yesterday. Her favorites are sticking her tongue out :) 

Today I painted the quarter round that will be going on the floor by the baseboards. Peter finished the last strip of flooring in the playroom so now it's time to paint. I am a terrible painter. Peter is a terrible painter. Maybe I should find someone on Craigslist... 

We did Ry's Valentines photo shoot today. She wore makeup. She looked so grown up. This one is with the iphone:

At bath time Kai asked for noses. I obliged of course. These are a self portrait of us together. 

I'll probably post separately with the Valentines images of Ryenne. Or I might make everyone wait until V-Day. We'll see. :) 

Snow in Austin

This morning Peter called me from the road telling me he'd be home late. Usually he's home by 7am. The roads had turned to ice and cars were sliding everywhere. He drove home in first gear. I just prayed that he made it home safe and sound. 

I looked out my bedroom window and saw the dusting of snow. I giggled to myself that this inch of snow would probably shut the city down today. I was right :) 

Ryenne was awake and excited. I opened Kai's door to find him sitting on the trunk by his window, gazing outside. He turned to me and said, "Waddat?? Waddat Mama?" and he said it was pretty. It was pretty adorable. 

Cruz was still asleep so we decided to go outside into the snow. Luckily Ryenne's snow jacket from when she was 18 months (it was a 2t) still sorta fit her. I dug it out of the back of the closet. Kai's sweater has a broken zipper so I put him in that with Ryenne's sweater over it. I felt kinda bad that I didn't have proper gear for them, but it was a quick trip outside and they were too excited to care. 

Our backyard with the snow from overnight.

 Ry and Kai were so excited to go outside!

 My Maui Built sticker peeking out from the snow - just thought it was funny.

 Peter arrived home safe and sound. We all did a happy dance. The roads were crazy slippery.

The kids and I spent the day cleaning the dining room and kitchen. Today is Cruz's 11 month birthday. I can't believe in one month he'll be a year old. 

We decided to go take him to see the snow and touch it. I had Ryenne standing with him, holding his hand. Right when I was about to take the picture, Ryenne decided to let go and run off into the yard and poor Cruz fell into the snow. He was so upset. This image is the only one I got - just before he started wailing. Poor little guy!

 He much preferred to come inside and push the laundry basket around.

 And drink his water from his favorite sippy cup.

 And look at the snow from the window.

 When Peter woke up he worked on laying down the new floor in the downstairs play room. Ryenne and Kai decided to be helpers (but not really).

 Cruz just wanted to play with his walker.

 Ryenne decided the floors would be perfect for ballet and put on a little show. Please note that the wall colors are changing in this room. I can't wait to see what the final room will look like!

 Since it's kinda Cruz's day - being 11 months and all - I decided that dinner would be something that he would really like. The boy loves beans. So I made cornbread, baked beans, and hot dogs. He sat in his high chair next to me while I cooked. Ryenne and Kai helped me make the cornbread. Cruz ate two giant helpings. The boy can eat!

Since the snow date shut the city down, I didn't get the results of my MRI and MRA tests today as I had hoped. I have, however, been doing a lot of my own research online and will be doing a supplement protocol that I found online. I figure that it can't hurt to try it out!